Saturday, October 20, 2007

Missile Sharks

You're the first to read about it, the worst ecosystem invasion ever to be discovered by a three year old in modern history.


IT is the invasion of the missile sharks
. Laugh if you must, but Buddy will tell you in no uncertain terms that they will come flying up out of the ocean, crash right through the window of the Hulking MiniVan of Death, and eat his brain.

Missile Sharks LOVE tender young brain.

Oh, you say, there is NO OCEAN in central Ohio. You would be wrong. There are micro oceans all over the place in Ohio and parts of Pennsylvania. I can attest to this. Back in Nebraska, when we went for aesthetics in our subdivison planning, we planted, or left, lots of things like TREES and green space. HERE, they dig holes and fill them with weirdly blue water, and fountains int he middle of these weird blue ponds. If the ponds don't look like cough syrup, then they are nasty green, filled with algae and goose poop. The "ocean" in our subdivision is part of the latter, and when Jessi the Aussie goes for a dip, all her white parts come home green. eeeeeewwwwwwwwww

Anyway, if you are driving along and you feel a thump against your car, and suddenly your three year old is slumped over drooling, don't say I didn't warn you about the missile sharks.

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Friday Bug didn't have school. Dear Lord, WHY do they do this crap to me? Couldn't they have had the decency to consult me about my surgical schedule BEFORE they went and did something stupid like that? ARGH

Buddy has been begging to go to COSI every day for two months. I relented, invited one of Bug's friends and off we went. Me, 4 kids and COSI. Yeah, but remember I'm one week out from having a vital organ severed and partially removed. I seemed to have forgotten.

I paid the price today. SuperG went back to Nebraska to try and help the Huskers win a game (no such luck) and wish his Grandma a happy 100th birthday. I'm all alone with two kids.......

Bug had a skating party for 3 hours, when she got home, I told them I was taking a nap, and my sweet babies let me sleep for nearly 3 hours. How cool is that?

Only when I awoke, they decided that while I was sleeping, the best thing to do would be to paint Bug's body with acrylic paint. She of course blamed it all on the 3 year old, yet somehow I heard not one whimper of protest from her.

And, I knew it was too quiet, which is why I got up to go see. When I say they let me nap, they let me stay horizontal, sleep was not always allowed. they would stand next to the bed, or on the bed, and tell me about their cool ideas, or come give me kisses, or rat each other out, whatever, horizontal is half the battle.

Now they're both asleep. I actually got to eat dinner (mmmmm fish sticks) and blog in peace.

Now who could ask for a better day?

1 comment:

gwr said...

Missile sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads would be formidable weapons ... nice combination of offensive and defensive capabilities, plus a sustainable energy source easily obtainable in the field (BRAAAAAAAAAAINS! 8^)

The average minivan would be no match for them. Families would dare to drive near water only aboard heavily-armored urban assault vehicles (such as the EM-50 from Stripes).

Oh, and grandma's 100th even made the local TV news on two stations. They filmed me for B-roll footage, which I requested be burned and never aired ...

Super G