Why, oh why, do they fight?

I was an only child. For many blessed years I was it in my world. I was a lonely, but good child and life was serene.

Then Hightower and Rita got divorced. They remarried, and suddenly I had three step brothers and a step sister. I got along fairly well with them, since they didn't really live with us, I still maintained my only child status on the weekdays.

So when Buddy came along, I naturally figured that the kids would play together and life would be good. No, I was not on drugs then. But I am now, and I still can't get that sugar coated turd out of my head.

They fight and scream and push and shove and hit and slap and bite and throw things and then it always comes down to "MOMMMMYYYYYYYYY". In fact, that very thing is happening now.

Right now.

I'm ignoring it. I am not the sibling police, I do not patrol the bedrooms looking for strife. They're both pissing me off right now, so I'm hiding in my office. They know that I've got a wicked cold, and they think I'm trying to sleep, which is why they are bickering and fighting. I have no voice, so I can't yell very loud, but boy, I can squeak like a ferocious mouse, The Mouse that Roared, if you will. The last time I squeak-o-roared at them, I think I ruptured something, my ear crackled, and I tasted blood. Couple this with the bad cough, the Achilles tendinitis, my newly diagnosed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, the near constant kidney pain (because I'm weaning off the Duragesic patches AND the OxyContin.... I aren't too smart, huh?) and you can see why they are kickin' me when I'm down.

I can't yell.

I can't get to the room fast enough to pull them apart before the slapping/pinching/biting/kicking starts.

I usually end up sputtering over my words because I'm trying NOT to drop f-bombs, but I'm cranky from the withdrawals and if I spew out what I want.....her room will be a parking lot of profanity.

But I'll show them. Ha ha ha! The next time they get into it, and bring their standoff to me, I'll just start whining, and then I'll cry, and then throwing myself on the ground and sob....just like them....

Just heard:

This is my computer and my room! I'm telling Mommy.

NO!

I'm telling Mommy!

NO! ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

ahhhhhh, must prepare the tears, I heard a thud and a crash, more "no" and some slapping.

now someone is hurt.

suppose I should go up there.

nah, he came down here.

He tried to leap from the arm of the computer chair to the bed, about 4 feet, he didn't make it.

Now he's back up there and they are the best of friends. Why do siblings have such schizophrenic relationships?

Five more days until I lose part of my kidney. Talking to Bug about it the other night, she said to me:

"I hope they don't kill you. Well, good night Mommy"

Yeah, I hope they don't kill me, either, kiddo. That would suck.