Monday, November 10, 2008

Baby Names

I've gotten several e-mails from Rita with giant lists of baby names.

Honestly, I owe my life to Hightower, because if I had gotten one of the monikers SHE wanted, I'd have been a grease spot in the schoolyard by third grade.

Some of the names were okay, but most of them had me wondering what she was smoking. She asked not to read about my opinions of her names on my blog....heh heh heh, which is just begging for it to appear here. You can age me, but you can't take the teenager outta me.

At any rate, to ward off further suggestions from family and former friends, we are announcing the names right now:

For a girl:

Pussy Galore

For a boy:

Cool Moe Dee

There. I hope that we can all move past this and let me get through the first trimester before we start planning the little blob's feeding schedule.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Amazing Jiffy-Pop Pregnancy

Yes, it is true. I have spawned again. I'm all of 6 weeks along today, and we were able to see a fluttering heartbeat this morning. Nothing makes you feel better than that. Especially when three days earlier an OB resident who comes to the ER where you are being treated for flank pain, decides to tell you that they could not see a yolk sac, and with HCG numbers as high as mine, you would be able to see that. So the pregnancy isn't viable and would I like to do a D&C to get this over with?

Really. No shit. Now, this is pregnancy number 14 for me. Yes, number 14. I know that at this early stage, one day can make a difference between seeing and not seeing. I also know that an ultrasound done by a regular old ultrasound tech is not the best of the best of the best.

Thankfully, I spent the next three days in pain, so I had other things to worry about. Namely the "solid-appearing" "psuedotumor" seen within the renal cortex in what remains of my left kidney. It has grown since my CT in September. My urologist ordered another ultrasound scheduled for this coming Monday. But since I now have little Blobby on board, nothing can be done with this except monitoring and pain control, until the baby gets here.

And this baby is huge. Within a span of about three days, my belly exploded like a Jiffy Pop container. At 5 weeks' gestation, I was completely in maternity clothes. It's going to be a LONG 8 months.

And because of my 11 hours spent in the hospital on Monday, and sleeping the next day, all day (except when I went to vote) I missed work and now I'm being called to the evil overlord's office to discuss my attendance.

As the great philosopher, Roseanne Roseannadanna once said

It's always something. If it's not one thing, it's another.

And so I go forth, as normal.

The Mc Cain rally was a lot of fun. I gotta say, Ahnold has some big feet, Dang!

And there were like 300 "Joe the Plumbers" there, so we got to sit in a special section, wear our "Joe" stickers and be close to, but not touching, the man. Oh well, I saved the voice mail.

My heart hurts over Mac's defeat. However, I am an American, and unlike some soon to be First Lady, have always been proud of that fact. And have understood just how lucky I am to have been born here, as opposed to, say, Sweden, the land of my forefathers. The tax rate there is upwards of 50%. And life in prison really means all of 12 years. So what is the incentive to work hard to achieve a modicum of success. Why bother following laws and doing this the right and honest way when you know that even if you murder someone, you'll be out in 12 years?

Nah, I'm glad I'm an American. And part of that is respecting the Office of the President. Even if I totally disagree with the socialist ideals that the President-elect admires, I must respect him because of the office he holds. It is my duty as an American. As I've told others today, I just pray that at the end of the next four years we live in the UNITED States, not the SOCIALIST States, of America.